I’ll be home in Perth on Saturday the 8th of March @ 1035pm on Cathay Pacific flight 171 from Hong Kong.
2 weeks after breaking up with Flo I asked to see her again. She met me at Plymouth Station wearing a blue mechanics jump suit. I hugged her with tears in my eyes and her smile cut through any insecurities I had just like our first night together.
We sat on the grass up high in the Plymouth bay overlooking many wonders, the sky was brilliant blue and people were flying kites.
We didn’t kiss, hug or speak of broken hearts, we were just together quietly, grinning and looking.
I was invited to stay at her mothers house which I did for 3 nights.
We had a bath there and I touched her again under candle light.
Our age difference was brought up at the kitchen table and my motives questioned, it was confronting but expected and even harder considering our relationship is unresolved.
I became constipated during our stay probably due to my diet in Bristol consisting only of croissants. After a bloody and laborious 30 minutes with children knocking on the door and looking through the keyhole, I passed something enormous into her mothers lavatory which was too big to flush. I asked Flo to come and look at it and she had never seen anything like it. She procured a piece of bamboo from the garden which I used to remodel the structure of the refuse to parameters within the utilities flushing capacity.
I recieved a blessing from Flo’s mum and enjoyed my stay immensely.
We went on to Bristol to visit Flo’s sister who I’d heard alot about and had seen many photos of. I wasn’t sure how she’d take to me given the way I look, the age difference and wether she was aware that I’d broken up with Flo recently.
Her sister was beautiful and amazing from the introduction.
I’ve heard of some people saying “fuck Chris,” etc, and I understand exactly what it’s like being in the comfort of a drivers seat tutting and beeping my horn at a braking car like I’ve never been lost in an unfamiliar city.
I’m sorry she is hurt, I’m hurt. I don’t believe I made a mistake, I believe life had a lesson to teach.
The last 7 days have been tender and loving, perfect u could say. As we neared London lastnight on the train I could feel our vibrations changing. I didn’t have any accomodation and could see for both of us the prospect of me returning back to her uni room was causing discomfort.
She told me she didn’t know what she wanted and began to withdraw. Naturally.
So I stayed with Will nearby.
Now I’m in Brighton.
I don’t know what the future holds and I don’t even want to think about it. To concern myself with it is the source of much misery. The truth is in this present moment and it’s here I find it hard to believe the connection between us will be overcome by thought, pain or distance. Like she said to me before, “It doesn’t matter where you are.”
(We’ll always be together?)